So

It occurs to me that these are my last few nights here, and so even though it's late, I let my wheel turn to the road up to the flagstaff. There's a car behind me and I want to take my time; I go to the curb and let it pass. The wind is cool and pleasant. It has snowed up in the mountains this weekend, I heard from a colleague in office, and so the cool winds. As I drive up, the same thoughts run through again. All that I've done in my years here, the things, the places I've been to, the people I have met. And what I am about to loose. The song playing in the stereo says:

"kaha bhi na maine
nahi jeena maine
tu jo na mila"

And what's the significance? Thinking about it one way, my life is a tiny occurrence on the scale of time, in the size of this earth, this universe. It doesn't matter if it goes one way or the other, if I fulfill my dreams or spend my life in misery. Inconsequential in the larger scheme of things, insignificant in the long run.

Thinking about it another way, it is significant what happens to me, whether I rise or fall. It is, for there are people connected to me, there will be people connected to me. And so to strive for a better life, happiness, is written. Whether I fulfill it or not, is consequential, but inconsequential.

Insignificant, significant. It is this duality that I see in lot of things and I find it hard to digest, to explain. So I let it be.

Driving, I've come up far enough, should return. The song has ended and I turn off the music. One moment the mind wants it back on, however I feel in a few moments I won't need it anymore. So I let it be.

The rest of the drive the music stays off and the thoughts, sometimes they sprint, sometimes they crawl, and occasionally they disappear into the beautiful night.